Commitment Phobia and Fear of Intimacy
19 July 2007If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Since I was a little girl, I have often heard about men’s incapability to make relationship commitment and their unbelievable fear of intimacy. I didn’t get it. What, in the world, could be better than having someone who would be always here for you and who would love you no matter what?! I have really believed that was exclusively a men’s issue.
Now, we witness more and more women in their 30’s and 40’s, still single and very anxious about getting committed. Why?!
In one hand, I deeply believe that media have their blame in it, in the other, watching lives of our mothers, no matter if they had a happy or not so happy marriage, don’t help.
This is why I blame media, movies, commercials and similar for girls having commitment phobia:
- They made us think that everyone of us has one and only Mr. Right, which is not true. Why is not true? Well, we grow and change by every day and what suited us yesterday, often doesn’t suit us today. So, yesterdays Mr. Right, possible would be wrong for us today, which is kind of good to know. Now we can be more realistic, not to wait for the perfect one, but for one who will be ready to grow and change with us and these are easier to find than perfect one. Remember, I didn’t say easy, I said easier.
When I think of women who are generation of our mothers, all I see is a sacrifice. They sacrificed their careers, their time and life for happiness of their children and husbands. If they were happy, the whole relationship commitment was easier, but if they were not happy, it was a disaster.
No matter which of these two was the case, I don’t like to see today’s modern women to sacrifice anything. I believe that women have to find a new relationship success formula, so we don’t have to fear that we will be in need to sacrifice important parts of our beings.
Also, to denial that we need someone who will be our lover and a friend, to commit our time and love to him, would be the same sacrifice. We don’t know what future brings and we can’t know if our relationship is meant to be forever, but what we will always be sure of is that we were brave, we gave our best and we won’t have any regrets.
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